


Château Me a Sign

by muhreenah



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Multi, Mutual Pining, but they don't know it's mutual because they're idiots, the angst tastes of despair and ham bc it's french, the product of like two weeks of duolingo french and a lot of youtube videos, unrealistic daydream fulfillment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23644858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muhreenah/pseuds/muhreenah
Summary: “I mean I didn’t have a plan for my life but now it’s 3 in the morning and I want us to live in a French chateau together.”Derek never expected his life to be completely normal, but he’d never anticipated moving to France with anyone, let alone Stiles.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Kudos: 12





	Château Me a Sign

**Author's Note:**

> This is definitely NOT based on anything irl, it’s completely fictional. Yep.

It was too early for this shit. It was _always_ too early for this shit. Or late, depending who you asked. Personally, Derek had a habit of going to bed around 10 every night (if being in bed and reading for a few hours counted as ‘going to bed’), so 3am was definitely too early to be awake. He still had four hours before he was supposed to get up for his shift, damn it, so who the hell was blowing up his phone?

'Why' would be a better questions, he supposed. Derek knew exactly _who_ it was. And since it seemed like Stiles wasn’t currently being murdered and his apartment wasn’t on fire, Derek was going to kill him.

**_Ur fav human :D_ **

_ >derek _

_ >hey derek _

_ >i was watching ratatouille and it got me thinking about france and hey did you know french real estate is actually a thing you can buy?? _

_ >well not in paris bc it’s like nyc prices but in euros but i mean like chateaus??? _

_ >there are realtors JUST for rich people properties _

_ >i mean ofc you probs know that huh _

_ >WTF the cheapest ones are like half a million, that’s so much less than i woulda thought but also it’s still so much _

_ >what’s it like to be more loaded than a baked potato my man ! _

_ >derek holy shit there are whole youtube channels dedicated to this _

_ >dude i take the rich people jabs back this might actually be in my budget _

_ >oh wait there’s a video of a lady breaking down the costs _

_ >shit the mortgage.. _

_ >but dude split between two people (or more i guess) it’s super affordable _

_ >derekkkkk let’s buy a chateau _

Derek blinked a few times and read the spammed texts again, understanding the words but not quite comprehending the message. It’d been a while between threats running rampant through the streets and the latest exhibit opening, which apparently meant Stiles had had the time to actually watch a movie and get stuck on another unrealistic scheme. The time stamp on the last message was five minutes ago, and there were three dots signaling another incoming message. He rolled his eyes as he typed out a response, fondness edging past irritation.

**_You_ **

_ >It is 3 in the morning. Why are you awake. Also how did you go from watching a Disney movie to looking up European real estate? _

_ [Ur fav human :D emphasized a message] _

**_Ur fav human :D_ **

_ >first of all i am the night, duh _

_ >dude don’t ask me to explain my process _

_ >but what do you think!!!!! _

_ >also yeah its 3 why are you up ur like a grandpa _

_ [You disliked a message] _

**_You_ **

_ >Maybe my phone was buzzing for ten minutes straight and some of us have sensitive hearing. _

**_Ur fav human :D_ **

_ >oh yike my b _

_ >but???? bro u can’t leave me hanging here _

_ >i need thoughts and opinions _

_ >i have a spreadsheet i can send if u need estimates but i’m still in the initial phase of research so no judgement _

**_You_ **

_ >Thoughts and opinions on what. _

_ [Incoming Call: Ur fav human :D] _

_ [Missed Call: Ur fav human :D] _

**_Ur fav human :D_ **

_ >dude pick up ur phone _

Derek faceplanted into his pillow, a resigned sigh escaping into its pillowy goodness, before rolling out of bed and quietly padding down the stairs and out the front door. He’d gotten less sleep before, usually from reading late, and it was a Friday anyway, so he’d have a few hours before anyone showed up to return any books or do any research. The wolf could afford a few extra hours of exhaustion today, he supposed. He never minded hearing from Stiles, either. 

The moon was waxing, nearly full, and bright enough to illuminate everything beyond the porch of the Hale house. Cora’s new Porsche gleamed ostentatiously in the moonlight, blocking both his Camaro and Isaac’s Kia (‘it’s not a ‘mom car’, Derek, it’s fuel efficient!’). The preserve smelled of earth and home and sounded of pre-dawn and the footsteps of whichever beta was patrolling tonight. Smiling to himself, he settled on the edge of the porch and called Stiles back.

“ _ Finally, dude, I was about to call the calvary! _ ”

“Stiles. Once again, it’s 3am. Lydia has a trial this morning and she would kill me if I woke her up.”

“ _ Oh yeah. I mean, time is relative, but I totally get not risking the Wrath of Khan. But don’t you guys have soundproofing on like everything? _ ”

Sigh. “Stiles.”

“ _ Yeah, yeah, I get it. So anyway _ -”

“A château?”

“ _ -a chateau! Oh, fancy accent. Derek, bro of my heart, light of my life, picture this- _ ”

Ah, that phrase. Derek was intimately familiar with that phrase. And as evidenced by the past seven years, that phrase never lead to anything Derek would consider ‘good’ or ‘worth the trouble’. That phrase should come with the warning ‘here there be dragons’, although there were only actual drakes the once, and that was more of a fluke than anything. Yet here he was, about to say yes to whatever was happening.

Derek measured his life in two eras: Before and After Stiles. The Era of BS was a fitting title - his predator ex murdered nearly his entire family and the guilt almost ate him alive, his uncle murdered his sister, he had to drop out of college just after making the Dean’s list; it was an unfair amount of BS. But then suddenly he was standing in front of two teenagers - one freshly bitten by a rogue omega, the other one smelling of fear and something else Derek had decided to ignore because _teenagers_. Some other shit had happened between then and now, but after that first day, nothing had seemed so impossible any more. Yeah, those impossible things included zombie relatives and an evil tree and an entire pack of Alphas out to get him because fuck him he guessed, but...he had a Pack again. 

  
  


Derek thought about those early years a lot, but he still couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he’d fallen in love with the man who remained the worst person he had in his phone contacts. And that was  _ including _ Uncle Peter.

“- _ and your loans are nearly paid off, right? And not to brag but I went on scholarship so I only have a few thousand left, which should take at most...four more months? Five? But anyway we could go in together on this - most chateau owners are saying that you need to have at least a year’s expenses saved up, preferably more because ‘you never know’ (which, you know, is smart), but then between the initial cost, construction and refurbishment fees, normal bills, taxes, and the business start up..well I made a mistake somewhere, THAT number is not right, but Derek! The cheaper chateaus - ones that haven’t already been flipped or modernized in the last few decades - go for around $500,000! I am...not sure how many euros that is! Most owners rent out rooms or run other businesses out of them, so after all the bills, taxes, staff salaries and everything, upkeep is only about $40,000 a year, which is scarily cheap? Like, has this been an attainable goal this whole time? Dude! _ !”

“...you’re actually serious about this idea, huh?”

“ _ Serious as you on trivia night, my man. I mean, I didn’t have a plan for my life but now it’s 3 in the morning and I want us to live in a French chateau together _ .”

“Stiles…”

“ _ I know what you’re going to say, BUT while I was waiting for you to call me back I came up with some really good arguments. First point of order _ -”

“Stiles-”

“ _ -I know you really like your job, but librarians can work anywhere there’s a library. I’m like 99% sure there’s libraries in France. And yeah, you don’t know French, but I’m sure it’s pretty easy to pick up! It’s like one of two languages they teach in school here, there’s probably a reason for that. Well, maybe not, the school system sucks _ -”

He snorted. “Yeah, but Stiles-”

“- _ but anyway my point is that what if there was a library IN THE CHATEAU! And some of these puppies date back to the 15th century so I could give historical tours and you could use both of your degrees _ -”

“-can you let me talk for one minute-”

“ _ -and I know we have the pack here, but we’re big kids now! Scott is literally basically done with med school, I’m sure he can be an okay sub-Alpha. Alpha substitute? Whatever. But imagine living in a huge house and there not being ten other wolves! You’d have privacy! I mean I’d also be there but the place could be so big we’d potentially have separate  _ wings _! You wouldn’t even know I was there! And-” _

This was a terrible idea and Derek knew it. It wasn’t terrible for the usual reasons - it wouldn’t put anyone in mortal danger or anger any otherworldly beings - but he was pretty sure running away to Europe with the love of your life and buying a house together is not a great idea when said person isn’t aware of your categorization of the relationship. He would cry if he were the crying type; this is literally the most romantic gesture he’s ever heard of that wasn’t in an actual romance novel or a shitty rom-com, and he knows it was meant 100% platonically. 

The smart thing, he knows, would be to say no. It’ll take a week, maybe two tops, for the idea to be put on the backburner of Stiles’ mind. Something will come up within the Pack, or at the museum, and France will be just another ‘what if’ idea that Stiles will think about maybe once or twice before he forgets all together. The problem is that there’s no way that Derek will ever forgive himself if he turns this down. Even if it’s just some half-brained idea formulated and pitched at 3am, it’s the one opportunity Derek has had in a long time to get out of Beacon Hills and go somewhere safe. like New York was; not because of the location, but because he’s with someone he loves.

This is such a terrible idea.

“- _ and we could be the only ones that actually lived in the building if you want, I know you don’t like being around a lot of strangers all at once, especially at home, but there are staff quarters on the grounds - Derek, these places have GROUNDS - or we could find one close to a village and hire locally. God, I don’t want to contribute to the gentrification of France, but I don’t think you can gentrify a country that is basically responsible for inventing and spreading colonization and gentrification in the first place _ -”

“Yes!”

“ _ \- but..wait, what _ ?”

“You want us to quit our jobs and buy a house together in France? Fuck it, I’m in.”

“ _ But _ .. _ for real? _ ” He could hear the disbelief and joy in Stiles’ voice, and couldn’t help smiling in return.

“Yeah. You’ve had worse ideas.”

_ “I resent that, but you won’t regret this. Ugh, DUDE! Okay, so I just emailed you the projected timeline…” _

“But why me?”

“ _ Why you what? _ ”

“Why ask me? Why not Scott or Lydia?”

There was a rare hesitation. “ _ Because...everybody is settled, man. Everyone has jobs and partners and lives and routine, and...they’re  _ happy _ with it. Scott has a position lined up at the clinic, Allison is training to take over for my dad, Lydia is a judge ‘for fun’ while she’s finishing her dissertation...nobody is about to pack up shop and move continents, you know? And I know you like the Pack and your job and- no, don’t deny it, I know you us - but I also know you’re  _ not _ happy. And dude, you deserve that. Happiness. You’re my best friend, man, I  _ know _ you. You’re content, but you know you can’t settle here. And neither can I, so. Here we are. _ ”

“...Stiles, that was unexpectedly insightful and mature of you.”

“ _ And also you’re the first person in my contact list right now sooo... _ ”

Derek huffed. “Yeah, that’s more like it.”

**Author's Note:**

> It took an entire pandemic to get me to work on/post a WIP but now I'm committed bc I need this idea to exist. I'll proofread when I manage to get more than three hours of sleep, I promise.


End file.
